Well my wife and I are on the outs anyway, we have been for a while - regardless of my SGF. However, she makes everything a million times easier for me.

I am doing everything in my power and my intellect to make sure my wife doesn't find out. I practice pretty good Opsec. I only email my SGF, and occasionally text her. If texting her it is only when I know my wife isn't around, and then I delete the texts and I have her number saved under one of my best friends's names as " ____ New". I only email from web browsers, and I log out, clear history, clear cache, make sure no passwords are saved, and often times use private browser. And I only see my SGF when my wife is either working or in class, and just as a double precaution I say I am working on a Pod Cast with the aforementioned friend (which is sort of true, but he is married with kids and is very busy. Also he doesn't have social media, so hard for my wife to stalk) and or going to the shooting range (which I do at times). So yeah. fingers crossed

Thankfully we have separate banking accounts, and she does not have access to my information.

However, should my wife ever find out, by some happen chance, I will shield my SGF from any and all drama. I will take the full brunt of what would undoubtedly by my wife's major melt down.

Thankfully, I believe I am slightly more cunning, and pretty smart about my extramarital stuff. That and my wife is on the fence about leaving me anyway, and sometimes crosses in to the "I am packing my shit and moving back home tomorrow!" territory. I want her to do just that, but I want it to be her idea, so that way she is less emotional and crazy about the split.