Same I was written off by family, all my friends turned their back on me. I wanted to die and I have the scars to show that. I’ve been sober for 12 years by now though and I am as happy as any one else now. I had to start nearly completely over. I have my own family, house, a few reliable and healthy friendships. I was ordered by court to out patient rehab for 9 months. Now I have a DEA license and have to log controlled substances as part of my job as a Veterinarian.

It is possible to turn this all around and reclaim a happy life. It will take a long time though. Expect ups and downs. Two main things are key though, abstaining from the substance you’re addicted to and working on the things about you that made you want to be dumb. You and I are always going to have the mind of an addict. But we can have healthy addictions rather than substances. Gym, reading, cooking, making art, pigeon racing, etc. find something like that to put your energy into. You’ve got a therapist which is great. Support group may go a long way too. Best of luck to you. I’m sorry that you were abandoned by your loved ones, but I have faith in you.