/u/TeaAitch, I have a lot of respect for you as a mod on this subreddit and as a kinkster with the advice you offer. But I do think you misread or misinterpreted the intention with which I was speaking.
Going to apologize now, because this is long as fuck. Even for my overly wordy self.
Tl;Dr – I'm not actually a Scene people, but I think education is super important. Each person has to figure out the nuances for themselves. However, if you're new as fuck and single, talking at a munch or workshop is a lot safer for everyone than choking someone out on a Tinder date.
Let's get to it... (2 parts, this is part 1)
This is one of my pet peeves. . . "Scene people" insisting that there's is the one true way.
Fair enough, it's a pet peeve. But I was not claiming there's "one true way". I was claiming education is important. In the discussion, I clarified that long-distance and online education are a great place to start and work for some kinks, but certain kinks are incredibly dangerous without training.
The majority of people have been 'learning' kink at home since long before 50SoG, internet porn, or club nights were even a thing. It's not a 2000+ phenomenon.
As clarified in another comment, I realized I was being somewhat reactionary due to the number of abuse, SA, and consent violations that are posted in this very subreddit. This very post is from an inexperienced Dom wanting to get started in BDSM. My goal is to encourage education of any sort and self-awareness, without going down the whole pure misogyny, non-empathetic rabbit hole of "I'm a Dom, I do whatever I want."
Name five people who have died as a result of being spanked. Just five will do. After all, it is so common.
I believe I was referencing impact play, specifically impact play in the face and head. It's easy to misjudge the level of force being used if you're inexperienced with dealing with the heightened emotions and adrenaline of a scene or if you're playing with a sub who wants you to go harder. Slaps and hits to the face can cause lead to brain injury and degenerative conditions. Name five people? Chronic traumatic encephalopathy is documented in over 320 football players (24 died in their 20s and 30s) and plenty of boxers. Will it necessarily happen to you if you're lightly slapped a couple times? Probably not. But if you repeatedly get slapped hard, there's a high likelihood of serious risk.
As far as spanking the ass goes, generally a safe area. But whenever you break skin, there's a risk of infection. Is it a manageable risk or something you can prepare for? Absolutely.
But any impact play can get out of hand. People can miss targets. And some people who claim to be dominants are just predators. Education, online or in person, from people who actually care about safety and consent can help you to learn to be a better top and make sure you keep yourself in check as well as empathize with your bottom. If you are doing more extreme impact play, I do believe in-person education is the way to go.
Here's a non-comprehensive list of people who have died from being beaten. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Deaths_by_beating
I'm not going to argue this isn't true, but what's your suggestion? Going to the club with Susan and David will somehow help, and or prevent this? Meh!
Finding people who care about teaching you safety, discussing potential harms, learning aftercare, etc., will certainly help. And having nonsexually intimate exposure to discuss BDSM certainly helps people better prepare. If you're talking to someone named Susan or Dave or whatever.
Each individual is ultimately responsible for vetting the advice they receive online or in person, cross referencing, double checking, and coming to their own conclusions. And I don't think you should take my advice or anyone else's on BDSM advice as gospel.
But I will always argue against just "diving in" uneducated.