When I wrote that answer, I wondered whether I should expand on that "equals" or choose brevity. In hindsight, I should have been chosen my words better.

I don't think anyone here disagrees with me that the roles are definitely unequal, and there's a similar consensus that the people in the relationship are definitely equals. The idea of the Dom being "more important" than the sub is frankly ridiculous.

Yet at the same time, the person and the role are often closely intertwined. Obviously for switches this isn't the case, but for people in a 24/7 dynamic it is. Equal or not equal? That's a question which might not have an answer.

Getting back to my initial reaction, I led with "unequal" because I was going to talk about responsibilities. Here I believe in a soft inequality: both partners are responsible for the well-being of the relationship, but not equally so. The Dom has the larger responsibility, and in this particular case that's amplified by the age difference.

Is this a healthy relationship? My gut feeling says no; the OP is not confident enough in her role. But I only trust my gut feeling when I'm making decisions for myself. I'm not going to advice the OP to break a relationship based on just this question.