Does being into BDSM have anything to do with Trauma / Sexual Abuse?

For me personally, yes. I'm not going to speak about anyone else, but my childhood was messed up and my family life still is. All of it contributed to the way I am now.

  • childhood SA (2-4 - don't remember)
  • being a problem child for my entire life, sent away to residential due to my "violent outbursts" (kindergarten - 4th grade)
  • learning from a very young age that my input does not matter
  • constantly having to give up my needs and desires
  • knowing that I am the reason my family is falling apart
  • my autistic sister throwing a tantrum whenever I'm downstairs, essentially forcing me to stay in my room
  • my needs being constantly suppressed to maintain the family's function
  • not being able to get a job or move out, as my family would end up losing what little we have

Definitely contributed to my submissiveness and objectification/puppetification kinks. I not only tolerate not having control, the privilege of choice, or the ability to change my situation, but actively enjoy it (both sexually and otherwise). Also probably why I love the status quo and repetition so much - change is bad.

  • unrestricted internet access in fifth grade
  • childhood trauma
  • lack of any sort of emotional outlet
  • self-punishment

The reasons why I'm dependent on ballbusting.

  • lack of affection

The reason why I have such a big praise kink and am very cuddly.

Of course, I could speculate about whether or not I would have developed these desires if I didn't endure so much as a kid, or if it's a mix of those and other things. Maybe I was always going to end up like this - a touch-starved puppet boy who is addicted to having his balls crushed - or if I'd be vanilla or maybe even dominant. But I'm not a psychologist and what happened has happened. Any speculation in my case would only be hypothetical.

At least for me, my childhood contributed to a lot of things. Maybe that's true for other people - I don't know, I'm not other people.

/r/BDSMAdvice Thread