It may be that you're only observing college "frat" or "party" lifestyles. There are a lot of people out there that are only interested in completely self-indulgent behavior. This behavior is designed to have that 'i don't give a fuck' attitude intended for cool points. Yes there are a lot of people within this social-category that succeed but as you've said they have to completely let go of all their principles and when it comes down to it all their friends are the same and no one would have their back in an emergency or when work actually needs to get done.

They appear to have a lot of fun and appear to be living the life but truth is they are just the loudest about it. Yes they are having fun now but you can't party and be self-indulgent and also expect to be successful (except handouts, some people are just lucky) because being successful requires co-operation and hard work. Something these people wouldn't understand. If you want to be part of social circles that aren't full of tools they'll probably have better manners and are a bit more thoughtful but they won't go around advertising it to everyone so you're just not noticing them.

Something to remember. The "cool guys" think they set trends, but the guy sitting behind a stack of bookings studying or networking to become a great artist or doing things that general advance themselves, make themselves more interesting, more confident, more capable and a higher sense of self-worth are the ones setting the trends, albeit once they've made a truckload of cash and are spitting on the peasants. I remember there was a song that went "you used to have to be a nerd to be a DJ, now everyone wants to be a DJ" but most are just hacks. Don't compare yourself to people that have completely different values and beliefs to you. (unless they've had money in the family) They end up 40 years old with a kid they don't want and in a relationship full of self-indulgence, dishonesty and all the things your mentioning and become sour and bitter towards the world not realizing that its actually their own behavior that made it that way. I have no sympathy for those people and would throw them under the bus at the drop of a hat.

Hopefully this scene from American Psycho makes you feel a bit better