I'm not quite sure how to formulate my thoughts so I'm sorry if this ends up being a bit of a mess.

You mentioned that you have low self-esteem and that you want to be attractive to women. I totally get your need to feel attractive, pretty sure mostly everyone has that. And you know what's attractive to most people? Confidence.

Confidence stems from being comfortable in your own self. If you're fine with who you are it's so much easier to just not care when someone's giving you shit. And it makes it easier to not care when your own brain is giving you shit.

And honestly, as cheesy as it is, you shouldn't change yourself for others. Here's a tip: if someone doesn't like you, you don't have to hang out with them (or date them). Obviously occasionally in life you've got to deal with people you don't like but you don't have to spend your free time with people who don't appreciate you as a person.

You only have so much time, so why would you not do things that you enjoy? (Obviously in moderation enough so you get work done etc., but I don't think discipline is your issue.) You are not a failure for wanting to play video games etc. You are not weak if you need your friends to be emotionally available. You're not less of a "real" man for wanting to be a househusband.

Most people aren't bad people. Chances are, you're not a bad person. Chances are, you're a regular dude who wants to enjoy life. And that's totally okay!

I think everyone wants validation from other people, but if you can have that sense of "I'm enough and I'm comfortable with who I am", you become less dependent on the validation others can give you. I've found that I'm a lot happier just by not giving a shit about what other people think.

It's good to strive to improve yourself, but you aren't a robot. (unless this is a bot post?? jk) And by letting yourself enjoy doing stuff you can actually learn new things about yourself.

Unlearning harmful thought patterns that you have takes time. I can't really tell you what will work for you, but personally I've found that training my brain to catch it if I'm thinking in a way I don't want to be thinking in. When I notice I'm having bad thought patterns like negative self talk, I tell myself it makes no sense and I should move on. This really becomes easier with time.

Should I stop criticising what I like? Even if it means terrible things for my future?

If you balance fun and work well enough it won't mean terrible things for your future.

I hope this is at least a bit helpful. I'm sorry if it comes off as dismissive (in a "you're wrong" kinda way), that's not my intention. I guess the main takeaway or TLDR of it all is: you're not a robot, humans need fun. And learn to be comfortable with yourself. (also oops this ended up being super long)