Hey, Ill just give you my opinion about some of the points youve made, since with others I dont have any experience.
Im more likely considered liberal, stoner and I also love to discuss politics with my wife even if its not neccessery. Therefore I think some corelation could be found.

- Asked if he loved me/ for reassurance (I was never worried I just liked receiving extra love sometimes)

I think if we ignore all the other statements its not actually problem to asure each other about your mutual feelings. However if theres a problem that you both ignore, or seed of a doubt in one or the other, persuading such a statement might have an opossite effect. Before I got married with my wife, she tend to say how she loves me quite often, even changed our messagers name to "husband/wife" after about 2 weeks of relationship. After that we had the biggest crisis, because I felt kind of pushed into relationship. Now we both encourage it and I love her more then ever... I dont have definitive answer however if you feel like your boyfriend doesnt reply you back with those words, you should either try to discuss it with him or lower it and give him some space. However if he wont ever bring it up after few months, its a huge red flag for me - speaking as a quite nihilistic person.

- Sometimes would get distracted during our facetime call and would have to respond to another comment on reddit or tik-tok for an argument and ignore him for 10-20 seconds, I rlly regret this :( then apologize for getting sucked into arguing with ppl

I dont think that would be the problem however it can lower someones mood as he feel ignored (on the other hand, since men are kind of horrible in multitasking we tend to do it quite often). So I would say that wasnt the case, but on the other hand some people are more narcistic and they expect more attention. But as a fellow stoner I would say that was not the case.

- I loved his body but would bug him to do push ups for some extra arm muscle(he was already pretty fit with some nice squish I liked)

Very similar to previous point. Depends on what kind of person he is. My wife tells me that I should drop my belly but we both make fun of it. She knows that I make jokes about my figure quite often (even more because Ive used to be too skinny). But on the other hand I hate when my mom brings it every call we have (I live abroad), since I feel like it has different conotation compare to my wife statements. If someone jokes about his imperfections with you he probably dont mind it if you make fun of it occasionally - but never more than the person!

- His parents were racist and homophobic so I said sometimes said things that might have hurt him bc he loves his parents

Now thats the point that got my attention as I tend to do something similar to my wife. Her family is classic eastern-europen suburban folks. She has 4 brothers (so quite big family). All of the members (excluding the youngest who has very similar views about wife range of topics as we do) tend to believe in conspiracies (even tho they all believe in different conspiracies that contradict each other). They also have very old-fashioned view on gender roles that vary just a bit. For example her father believes if man helps woman with dishes he must be gay/ or might become one, etc... Some of the members dont believe in COVID, even tho the mother is a nurse and she kind of had to sign up the father for vax against his will. Some believes in big pharma conspiracies. The oldest brother believes that human were "seeded" by aliens about 10 000 years ago, rest believe in creation described in Bible. They are quite homophobic (one of the brothers hate that he cant use his rainbow umbrella because it seems that he is gay), or they follow anti-system types of medias, praise Putin, etc...
So shortly, they are quite homophobic, disinformation seekers, anti-system type of folks. And I bring it up occasionaly to my wife but I never labeled them as I did here. More likely I critisize their hypocrisy. However what I take in mind is, that people dont like to hear that about their family, despite their flaws. But since I criticise my family quite a lot I dont mind occasionaly criticise hers as she agrees with me about their hypocrisy. But about 2 days ago I crossed the red line and she told me to stop instulting her father. I told her that I didn't mean to and that I criticise mostly my family but I also tell her that if we stop speaking about some moral obligations we as people have, then theres no bright future for us... And she agreed, however for me its a feedback to never cross that line again.

TL;DR: you need to speak about ceratin things and observe the partner reactions. If you feel like he/she doesnt enjoy some kind of talks/behaviors/customs, then regulate it. If you cant regulate it because its against your nature just speak about it with your partner. Tell him/her that in some things you wont ever change and she either respect it or its gonna be something that will rot your relationship as years will pass...