this is just disrespectful. my bf and i are both students but i work during the school year so i tend to pay for things more and near the end of this semester i’ve had to pick up a bit of slack for him (for example paying for 100% of the groceries instead of splitting, paying for weed instead of sharing that expense). see, i’m happy to do this because i know i am in a better financial position than he, and i feel obliged to make sure his needs are met and treat him to a nice dinner once in a while. he does also make jokes about me as his “sugar momma.”

the difference is though, he knows i’m not and he greatly appreciates me picking up the slack for him and making sure he’s able to get what he needs and still do things he enjoys like smoking weed. he thanks me all the time. i bought him gas the other day because he said he only had $20 for gas which isn’t nearly enough to fill his tank, and he was thanking me for the next week. he recognizes my money is mine. i’ve worked for it, he’s not a stay at home partner, it is all mine to do with as i please and he does not “deserve” any of it. he recognizes that partially supporting him financially is something i choose to do because i care about him, not something he is entitled to. he frankly feels bad about it, and tells me he can’t wait until it’s his turn to spoil me. even when he makes his sugar momma jokes, i’m happy to laugh along because i know he truly doesn’t see me that way. he most definitely does not enjoy leaning on me to be able to feed himself, but he certainly appreciates knowing i’ll make damn sure he stays well fed even if he’s down to his last dollar.

and i truly believe if roles are reversed in the future, he’ll have my back too. as much as he jokes about being “spoiled” by his “sugar momma,” he’s doing that to cope with feeling shitty that he can’t take me to dinner and i’m paying for his groceries. he sees my financial support as an act from a loving and caring partner who just doesn’t want to see him struggle.