I’m sorry things are so difficult right now. From what you’ve described here, it seems like both of you are hurting: you don’t feel understood or supported when you’re already trying so hard, and he feels hurt by your behavior. You deserve compassion, but he’s not obligated to just take it when you lash out at him, even if he knows you’re trying to change and improve, even if he knows your rage/frustration/irritation impulses are things you’re still learning to control. It sounds like you’re doing a lot to figure out how to manage your symptoms, but if this kind of conflict is a routine thing, I think you and your boyfriend need to have a serious conversation about your relationship, or you need to work with your therapist to explore better coping mechanisms and emotional regulation/impulse control techniques. Maybe the you and your bf just need to work together to figure out better ways to make each other feel supported, maybe you two need some time apart to reassess, maybe you need something else entirely. Whatever it is, I wish you all the best and I hope things improve for you soon. ❤️