This is you from the future! Remember that time you almost set the backyard on fire but no one ever found out?

I have less than a minute to speak. Just fucking listen. No questions.

You're a girl, you're a girl! Look up what transgender means, it'll save you years of pain!

Your insurance will cover most expenses related to this.

Stockpile bitcoin as fast and cheap as you can. Sell it all in the Fall of 2018, once it gets above $13,000 a coin. It will go a little higher before crashing.

Do this right, and you'll be a billionaire.

Walk with your shoulders back, it'll help fix that foot and knee pain.

Also, in 2016 Donald Trump is president, and it's worse than it sounds.

And that project you're working now is gonna bomb. Drop it, don't put another dime in it, and go back to school for programming sooner than later.

Finally, you're a lesbian! Yes the dream is real.

Bye!