You said you can’t afford hobbies, buy a jumping rope and do some skipping. Go to a swimming pool and swim. Grab your dog and go on a run, hike or go fishing. Help your dad fix whatever that needs fixing in the house. Vacuum the floor, wash the dishes and do the laundry, it’ll make your parents happy and will improve your relationship with them. Cook for them, make them a meal. Don’t argue with your parents, don’t spray oil when the house is on fire, you’ll burn it down faster. Remember, they cuddled you when you were a baby crying in the middle of the night, they lost a lot of sleep, they held you in their arms, and they bathe you, changed your dirty nappies, and let you have the last piece of the cake even though they wanted it. Your parents are the closest people to you, don’t take them for granted, they loved and cared for you when you were a baby. If you don’t love them, how can you love a stranger (potential bf)?
Having an active sex life isn’t going to make you happy, an orgasm is just a fleeting moment. Happiness comes from the mind.
Moving to Austin isn’t going to make you any happier than you are now. You’ll just encounter a whole set of different problems. Once the excitement and the adrenaline high of moving to Austin wears off, your mind will repeat the negative thoughts, have doubts and be depressed again. You’ll need to change that first, you’ll need to change yourself if you are unhappy about yourselves. Remember, you can’t change the environment or the people around you, you can only change yourself. There are shitty people in your town and there will be shitty people in Austin, with having a higher population means having more shitty people. Don’t blame others for the problem, if there’s an issue, look for a solution, blaming isn’t going to fix anything, it’ll make things worse. Talk to them and ask them for their solution to the issue. If they don’t want to talk about it or acknowledge the issue, let it go and do what you can. From your post ‘I applied to 8 jobs alone just tonight, three of them already sent me an automated rejection’. You are taking rejection and everything too personally. You keep telling yourself there’s something wrong with you if things doesn’t go the way you wanted or expected it to. Have you ever thought about the other people that also got rejected from the same job you applying for? I applied for over 30 jobs this past 4 months alone and I had 1 job interview 3 weeks ago, I was told by the interviewer, they received over 800 applications within a month for the position and they are seeing 5 other candidates for the job. I didn’t get the job. It’s not the end of the world, I’m still alive, I still have food on my table and I’ll live another day, I’ll keep looking for another job.
Why are you keep telling yourself that you’re a loser? You are only a loser if you believe it. Tell me, what is a loser? From what I read of you, I don’t think you’re a loser. There are a lot of homeless people out there, sleeping on the street, no friends, no sexlife and no job. I don’t think any of them are a loser, if anyone ever thinks that, they’re a vile human being, and a REAL LOSER to me. In life, there’s no such thing as winner or loser, there are ‘fortunate’ and ‘unfortunate’. We need to have sympathy for those who are less fortunate than us. If you think having a high paying job, a sexy boyfriend, and being adored and desired by good looking people is a winner, you’re going to live a very miserable life. You’ll never be happy. Look around you, look at Bill Gate, Steve Jobs, look at the kardasian family, look at Elvis, they have/had money, fame and adoration, yet they don’t/didn’t look much happier than the average person on the street. Harvard did a 75 years study on what makes us happy, and you’ll be surprised with the answer. It’s the simple thing in life that makes us happy. Check it out on ted talk.
You’re not a loser, if you want change in your career, you’ll need to make the change yourself, if you want a higher position job with better pay and it require you to have another qualification, go and get that qualification and re-apply for the position. If you can’t afford to pay for the education to get that qualification, sit down with your parents, calmly and talk to them, ask them what they think or if there’s solution to your issue. In life, there isn’t just one path to reach the destination, there are always other paths to reach the destination.
I understand seeing your friends being happy, smiling on facebook or in person can make yourself look bad in comparison. Don’t compare your life with other, you’re not them, you’re not living their life, you are ‘You’, you have a different life and it’s up to you to make yourself happy. People always put on a front to show everyone they’re happy and appear like a ‘winner’.
I’m telling you this because I have been in your shoes, at 22 year old, you are still very young and impressionable. What you see on TV is just an illusion, those hot guys with their equally hot boyfriends and friends smiling and laughing in pictures on Instagram, they’re just posing for pictures, people always smile for pictures. As hot as these guys are, they still get cheated on, have issues with family, and they’ll grow old. At 28 year old now, I’m starting to lose my looks and it will only get worse.
I live in Melbourne Australia, a big city with a big gay scene. I was turning heads wherever in my late teens to early 20s. My self-worth and self-esteem were based on people looking and staring at me. Men and women would go out of their way to help me. I got accepted into my uni on the first school interview, I landed my job after graduation on my first job interview. Things were pretty sweet, but I wasn’t happy, I was shallow and wanted more, I wanted that hot gay life style that I’ve seen on TV and read about on magazines. I dated a rich guy, a half German and half Italian ex-model, he appeared on 2 fitness magazine covers. He took me to fancy clubs and parties. And let me tell you, it was tiring, boring and exhausting. I stopped seeing him after 8 months. At 26 year old, I have seen and realised that lifestyle wasn’t for me, it was all smoke and mirror, and everything was based on shallow and superficial values. I packed up all my sexy clothes and bought a few hiking pants and stopped clubbing. I’m much happier now than I was in my early 20s, I feel at peace with myself hiking with my dog on the dirt trail than trying to look perfect and model-like at a club, fuck that, I’m sick of it!
My advice for you is, do another follow up. If they rejected you, ask them if they have any other positon available, show them that you’re enthusiast and keen for the job. Ask them if their partnered companies are hiring, it doesn’t hurt to ask. Don’t take rejection too personally.
Stay active, being active will keep your mind clear and your body healthy + look sexy.
If you have a problem, look for a solution. Life is too short, don’t let the negative thoughts or people hindering you from living a happy life. Don’t waste time feeling bad or blaming yourself, it isn’t going to fix anything and will make you feel like shit. Look in the mirror and tell yourself ‘I love you’, be your own bf. You need to love yourself first, no one can love you more than yourself. Having a boyfriend isn’t going to solve anything. Remember, there’s no such thing as ‘true love’, a long loving relationship requires a lot of work and commitment. People often mistaken infatuation with ‘love’, more than half of marriages end in divorce and relationship breaks apart after a year or 2 once the infatuation wears off. The worst possible thing being in any relationship is being co-dependent and clingy, where your moods and emotions are easily affected by others. You have to realise that the people/men you’re having a relationship/friendship with isn’t going to make your problems go away, they will bring their own issue/baggage with them into a relationship. You’ll have to be comfortable being on your own, make peace with yourself, be independent and live your life for ‘YOU’ and not being emotionally dependent on others. Don’t take rejection personally, it’s not your problem, let other people deal with it. You have the power to decide who and who shouldn’t be in your life. We can choose our friends but we can’t choose our family. Make peace with your family if you are able to.
TL:DR, Fuck you, I’m not writing this long ass post for you, it’s for the OP.