I don't like to tell people in pain that I understand, because you know that I don't: I don't know everything that you're going through, I don't know what the circumstances are that are holding you down right now. I'm sorry you're going through this, I commiserate.

I have severe, chronic depressive disorder; I've spent a week in the nuthatch for it before. I've been this way for decades, as long as I can remember with a few oases of happiness, and I'm not medicated. I know how it is to feel like that, unable to be happy, full of a restless anxious dissatisfaction, tiredness, the desire to escape all wound up with the need to rest, to feel like a strong and free person that's somehow got tangled up in dull, monotonous sadness.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this, and I can't give you flipshit advice to make everything better, but I can offer a couple strategies to deal, aside from the choices to medicate or jump off the train.

Don't jump off, man. Even when you think nothing is happening you are learning from this, I really think there's such a thing as reincarnation and a value in suffering, and how stupid would it be if you just bounce back and have to go through the same thing all over again because you offed yourself? You're in the middle of the thing now, put your head down and try to have faith in the better self inside you and the heart that keeps you going. It won't always be this way.

The all-nighter really can help sometimes, to reboot the system. I've used that tactic too, but I find it works best when the reasons for your unhappiness are ethereal and unclear. It's like your gears get turning too hard, an all-nighter will knock them off-tooth just enough to reset them. It can work, it's a good strategy.

This can be construed as bad advice so remember moderation is key, and ignore if you're the addictive type: a nice solid drunk can help too. It clears the cobwebs. Don't use liquor, it's too harsh and makes you sick before you have a chance to think clearly: don't use beer, it's too wet and aggressive. Wine is perfect. A couple glasses, no more. Don't make too frequent a habit of it, the point is to get a clear view, not run away.

Don't run away from the pain. Embrace what makes you nervous, I really know the watery-kneed feeling that prevents you from doing that and this is just advice. But running away toward comfort is avoiding the very thing that can lift you out of this emotional place. You have to go back into the gauntlet, man. Do what you feel like you can't. At first it's a terror, but it's all in your head - trust in yourself to recombobulate. You will. Trust yourself, and defy your pain by approaching it.

I'm sorry you feel this way. I really am, don't be ashamed of it, it takes courage to keep walking when your head does things like this to you. I commiserate. Don't jump off. There's nothing there but a big Game Over and nothing but a Restart Game, I guarantee it. It's not over yet, you're in the middle now and you'll find a way out, okay? Keep goin'.