Well a little backstory on me. I was born with bilateral cleft lip and I tell you and everyone this constantly and will continue to, to get everyone to understand immediately. I'm physically deformed and hideous and I walk through life getting strange looks and reactions daily. How do I make it and how have I made it through 32 years of existing. Well I realized a long time ago that there's nothing I can really do. Now that isn't me making peace with it. I still want to die everyday even as I type this to you. I've missed so much. Speaking of kids, that'll be one of the few things I'll never experience, and I've made peace with it. I'm depressed constantly and how do I survive? Just trying man. I can't hide away from the world like I want to. I have to work with people, I have to go out in public and show my face everyday because that's life. Just take it one day at a time man. Don't think to hard about everything that's wrong, even though I know that it's very hard. Just live. You've made it this far...you're doing something right and you clearly love your kids. Try to live for them and again, it's never an easy task, but again all you can do is try. Best of luck friend.