Sorry to read how you feel, that shit definitely sucks. I unfortunately can’t tell you what to do in this situation, are you able to take nice long drives in that hatchback you mention? Because that’s what I’d do, if the car allows it.. I’d tell your therapist about it, after all they’re supposed to help you, but yeah we know how that goes.

From my experience, I’ve had therapy numerous times with different counselors. They all knew I was suicidal, because I told them. The only time I went to the Looney Bin was because I was under the influence of benzodiazepines & alcohol in public, & of course sober thoughts are a drunk person’s words. Plus i’m sure I was an immediate danger to myself & others. So they took me there for three days.

This isn’t 100 percent, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I’ve heard people say that therapists aren’t allowed to intervene because of the legal consequences they could face. I’m no expert though, just experienced with mental illness.