No, because for years I only acted like this in small doses.

I would wrong someone, maybe make up, or they'd just ignore it and we'd move on.

I guess the reason this is so devastating to me is because I thought I'd grown as a person. I can finally give an honest apology for the shit I say, and I feel terrible after I do it. I guess it's like I get a headrush from lying about myself and degrading others.

Regardless, this is the pinnacle of my assholery, and by a mile. It might even come as a shock to some people who thought they knew me. My insecure and vile nature has been laid bear. The jig is up.

How is this the person I'm becoming?