I've never been allowed inside my (F26) boyfriend (29M) of 2 years' flat. At first I had no problem with it, but as time goes by and I find out new things it's beginning to bother me a lot more.

You're very likely right. I've explained my feelings and suspicions and tried to start a frank discussion a few times, but it doesn't really work very well when one side is willing to talk and the other is determined not to. It seems like he's not ready or willing to be open about it, and that leaves me in a difficult position. My family think I should force the issue by showing up at his door one day, asking his family to do it, or calling his landlord, but I'm incredibly uncomfortable about that idea. I know full well I am not capable of making the judgement call for whether that sort of intervention is necessary...and I'm not really sure I want to stay in a relationship where I even have to consider that.

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