Honestly, it sounds like you're working yourself up reading horror stories. People are WAY MORE LIKELY to report bad experiences with birthcontrol online than they are to report using it and nothing special happening. And even when there's a very small percentage of users who get serious side effects, spread out a couple million users you're going to see a lot of complaints- but that still doesn't represent the average experience! On top of that, plenty of people will report problems being caused by birth control that we don't even know were truly caused by birth control!

The reality is for the majority of people any side effects from hormonal birth control are tolerable. And if it turns out not to be for you, you always have the option of getting the implant removed. This wasn't a permanent decision.

If you're setting yourself up to expect to have an "adverse reaction like so many others have" (when in reality it is a small percentage: the prescription labeling for nexplanon shows that while 6.5% of users report some kind of "emotional lability," only 2.3% cite it as a reason for choosing to remove the implant) you're creating a self-fulfilling prophesy by working yourself up and convincing yourself that these side effects are extremely common and likely to happen to you. Yes, they can happen, but they are not incredibly common and definitely not guaranteed.

I would strongly suggest you call your gynecologist back and discuss your fears with them and listen to THEIR recommendations. Don't go searching the internet for material that will no doubt scare you needlessly. Your doctor is qualified to advise you about your unique situation.

And if you feel like the anxiety or sadness is getting overwhelming, please seek help!