"Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional". Unless it is physical pain then that is a different story heh..
Hey,
I know this might not be any consolation for you but i can relate and understand what you feel.. because at one point in my life and literally at the same age, I experienced what you are going through and feelings.
Sometimes.. I even think what would i say to my younger version of myself right now.
Trust me when i say this, It does get better in time... if we take the right actions to make it better. If not, we will end up in a negative cycle and a downward spiral that will continue forever.. if we let it.
I'll try to summarize my story as short as possible:
as a young teenager, I was mostly focused on school. I was doing a program for a degree that I didn't really have interest in and well I was doing things based on the expectations of others. (what was suppose to be 2 years ended up taking abit longer like ~3 years)
At the same time, I was suffering from depression. Now when we think of this... we think of it like de-motivation. Which is a symptom but in reality it is mix hopelessness and other things.. combine that with other factors like family, toxic relationships.. etc.. It can do numbers to your mental health.
I felt like a failure. Disappointment with the path i have chosen, hopeless because, also for some months, I was unable to walk for ~6 weeks due to an incident that almost cost me my foot. (which pro-longed my completion of my study). Confused and lost at what to do with my life.
Why bother living anymore when i saw no light at the end of the tunnel.
It wasn't until.. at one point,I realized that i had the power and control to do things (also i was wasting quite a lot of time). During half-way through my program.. i've met my mentor and personal gym trainer who guided me and gave me a clear direction with my life (along with me now being able to do what i enjoy doing). I've also met in my final semester.. a close friend who i had a relationship with back in Highschool... she gave me a taste of nostalgia but also helped me realize the type of person I wanted to be.
Anyways, all in all, my advice is to find a good support system and give your life purpose. One that you truly enjoy. Friends come and go... so don't worry too much about it. As for Relationships.. First, be happy with yourself and truly focus on yourself then you will be happy with others.
finally, only compare yourself to where you were yesterday. It's unfair for us to compare ourselves to other people because.. well they are not us and we are not them. Everyone has a different story which they don't show their failures (especially on social media).
If i can do it, i'm sure you can as well.