The reason people are saying you didn't do anything wrong, is because you didn't. No that wasn't a good thing to be drinking like that while pregnant but there are millions of healthy babies born when their moms were party girls and drank during the first trimester due to lack of knowledge of even being pregnant. It happens but it did NOT cause your miscarriage.
When I went in for my 11wk ultrasound, they couldn't find the heartbeat of my baby. I measured at 7wks and I never miscarried naturally so I was carrying around my already miscarried child for 4 weeks and didn't even know something was wrong.
Nothing, and I mean nothing the doctors could say could make me feel like it wasn't my fault. They gave me every line in the book. It happens to 1/4 women, it's common, there was a chemical imbalance and my body acted on instinct, my body didn't detect the pregnancy, etc. There are so many reasons miscarriages occur and it is so much more common then you think it is. Trust me when I say, if your family is disapointed, it's not at you, it's with you. I promise. Your family may be mourning the loss and be disapointed there will be no baby but the last thing you need right now is to blame yourself.
The recovery from all of this is going to be hard enough, emotionally. I wish I had some thoughtful encouraging words to inspire you to stay strong but I don't. I lost my baby a year ago and the wound is still healing, I don't know if that tiny break in my heart will ever go away no matter how many years pass.
Your child died and there is no simplifying that. I just hope you find comfort in the idea that I know exactly how you are feeling and though the pain of your loss may not go away very soon, time will help you to not blame yourself. Time will help you understand more what actually happened is not your fault at all. You just have to take it a day at a time and one day you will wake up a little bit better than the day before and so on and so forth. If you'd like to talk more, PM me. You don't have to go through this alone.