I knew and sold bud to a kid who was on huge amounts of Adderall his whole life. He was always a little not-there, but always seemed normal enough. Great listener, always wanted to hear about whatever I was into at the time.

He got into psychs shortly after I met him. He was also doing his same massive amounts of Adderall while doing them. Every time I saw him, he looked a little worse and a little more desperate. Eventually there came a point where he would come by and had just made up his own universe completely involving a white room of purgatory, aliens, monsters and all types of things. It was always kind of amusing to me and my crew at the time, we would poke and prod him and ask him questions about his made up universe and point out when two things he said didn't add up. It was funny for a while, but eventually none of us wanted to hear it anymore, so we would look for a way to get him to leave shortly after he bought his bud.

One night he tried to wreck his car with him and his girlfriend still inside, and then we didn't hear from him for a long time. Then word went around that he had killed himself.

Looking back I wish we had taken him more seriously, even though he was just a passing acquaintance who none of us really knew. It seemed like he had alienated all of his close friends and didn't really have a supportive home life or any goals, so he just ramped up the amount of drugs he was doing to compensate. Scary stuff.

I was hooked on adderall for a while too, starting out with using it for schoolwork, then to do art, then doing it just to do it. Often parachuting it in combination with ketamine, which I was heavily into at the same time. Not gonna lie, it fueled the most intensely creative and productive period of my life. (My room is currently lined with all the art I did while on that combination.) But it just made it so hard to do anything at all while not on Adderall. I would take some with the intention to do school work, then just end up playing video games, which is the same problem I have sober. I eventually managed to quit and haven't looked back since, though it is tempting.