Last night I (29F) found my partner of four years (30M) listening to a really hateful anti-Semitic renegade radio show. I asked him about it this morning and he said it didn't reflect his views, but I still feel really unsettled.

My husband, about as left to the left as can be, regularly reads Hannity. I read craigslist casual encounters. I've looked up the price list on escorts in my area. I've read forums that are racist, sexist, politically antagonistic, /b/, and god knows what. I am curious. I want to know. He wants to know. If I found ten pages of escort ads in his web history, I'd think nothing of it. I often, in fact, read ALOUD the insane shit I am exploring. Go read an ex-Scientologist forum...it's a trip.

So, assume nothing about him listening to it. Ask him why. If it starts with, "Well, they have some interesting views about [x]" you have a problem. If it starts with, "These people are fucking nuts! Listen to this insanity!" then you get a radically different answer. When my SO walks in on me reading [insert horrorshow here] he knows me well enough to assume that I am just curious. I just want to know and understand what this group thinks.

But I also think I am unusual. We are unusual. I get why you're worried and I'd be worried. But I'd reserve jumping to conclusions until you actually have a conversation about it. If someone judged me by my browsing history, I'd look like a nutbag. I must have an FBI watch-list file somewhere. But I just get seriously curious about Tony Alamo literature or people trying to give away dogs for free or whose trying to sell their shitty, 1992 couch for 200$ this week. I am a voyeur for the strange.

So before the hoards stampede in to tell you he's OBVIOUSLY in agreement, just keep in mind that live readings/reenactments of craigslist personal ads sometimes is my nightly entertainment.

/r/relationships Thread