I quit for about a month, and since then I have binged through the weekend about once a month for two months. It's not been exact, one month I had my binge a week early after only 3 weeks. One time I started on Thursday instead of Friday. I am not getting dope sick without it anymore, but these binges are only postponing the return to normalcy. Things just feel so bleak if I can't set a date in the future to look forward to.

I was sorta forced to cold turkey off a lot of ketamine at the same time as stopping the opiates. I feel more triggered seeing things about dissos than I do about opiates. Feels like opiates are the problem, and a disso is the solution. Of course that's ridiculous and I know it, but that's the thought process that flashes in my head before I think it through.