Lived for a bit of time (<3mo) with my now-ex and now-boyfriend. Had a dog. Door to building auto-locked when it latched. Told now-ex multiple times (after being yelled at multiple times for not hearing him hollering from outside being locked out) "hey, put a spare key on the dog's leash, that way you'll never be locked out again when you definitely forget to prop the door open because you're forgetful and never learn from your mistakes."

After the 4th or 5th time, he got to the point of legitimate YELLING ("I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T FUCKING HEAR ME YELLING," etc etc), when we have neighbors, at night, that are trying to sleep. The last time was when I was mid-video game. He tried making me feel like shit (again) for not hearing him yell from outside for me to come open the door for him. In front of roommate. I think that was honestly the last straw. I could feel the awkward tension in the room. I let him run out of steam, calmly said, "we talked about this plenty of times before. This is not my fault. I didn't hear you. You need to calm down." Then later he blamed our living with roommate on his stress levels (it's always something, am I right?). I shrugged it off, and a few weeks later finally ended things.

Later on, talking to now-boyfriend, he told me, "I never had a problem with (ex) until we all lived together. We were friends. I looked up to him. But he was terrible to you. I can't believe I ever respected him with the way he spoke to you. I will never be like that. You're too important to me for me to lose you," then he made me dinner and let me vent the rest of the night.

Obviously nothing as serious as being publicly berated or pushed down stairs, but I definitely get the whole "everything is your fault, even shit out of your control" side of things, and empathize. I'm very happy for you now that you're doing better and out of that situation.