Let me tell you a story that about sums it up. I had just started dating my boyfriend, it was a nervous time for me, I really liked him and really just wanted everything to go well.

So when we were walking in a shopping mall type area, on our way to get ice cream, holding hands and I saw that we were approaching a largish group of teenagers I got kind of nervous, I didn't want them to say or do anything... again, I really liked this guy, I just wanted the date to go well. If they said something stupid, I could handle it, but I don't know if the date would be salvageable.

So sure enough we're walking by and some kid shouts out "Yo, are you two a couple?" Well fuck man, we haven't used that term yet in regards to ourselves so in addition to being a random question and an invasive one, it's also awkward. Mentally I started to prepare myself to tell the guy off, but before I can do my now boyfriend then date says "Yes."

The guy nods and then says "Yo I support you". We walked away. And you know what, I was surprised by what he said, it was the opposite of what I had been expecting, but it was also kind of exactly the same. It was him being supportive, but it wasn't, it felt like being used. A lot of support does feel that way, like it's only the cousin of prejudice, the idea is that equality is still something you gift to us, like there's an expectation for gratitude. It left a bad taste in my mouth. I keep myself pretty guarded still around "allies" until they show their true colors, what kind of ally they are exactly.