Yeah. Life is very hard. Sometimes I really do feel jealous of friends of mine who died young, early 20’s, whether by their own hand or by other causes.
Most of life seems to be drudgery and suffering.
But all I think of is there are two kinds of pain.
Meaningless pain, like the kind caused by drinking. By self-betrayal in general.
The Pain of Growth: this speaks for itself.
We don’t always get to choose which pain we get in life, but as long as we can choose the right pain when we get a choice we’ll be better off.
As for an ultimate meaning: sometimes i wish I was of the mind that could believe in a religion, that there is some kind of reward for the pain at the end of the road and that’s the point of living. Or that the suffering leads to our evolution through different incarnations. But I don’t believe in those things.
I guess we are here now so we have to try to make the most of it.