I should preface this that i'm Male that's recently started transitioning so my perspective is going to be different.

I completely agree that beauty standards are becoming increasingly unattainable and that body positivity is really important but I'm not convinced toxic men are the problem.

It's only been about 2 years since i've come out to my friends, mostly male and their response and ongoing conversations haven't focused on my appearance at all (despite being a heavy set man and not looking even remotely "feminine")

When we would talk about women, the men I know would usually raise concern about these very beauty standards and that they thought a lot of them were weird - not encourage them, they don't care if their partners wore make up or had surgery or whatever as long as they were happy.

Women friends on the other hand, the moment I've mentioned transitioning have talked about getting my nails done, my eyebrows done, talked extensively about makeup, how to hide all those imperfections, what aesthetic surgeries I'm going to get etc.

Some also often apologise because they're not wearing make up when we go on a video call.

Clothing is another huge thing - as a large man, I can't get clothes that fit until more recently, they just don't make them in my size at all except in very select stores, as a woman most high street stores sell my size and significantly bigger for at-least 5-6 years.

It's rare I hear anyone talk about body positivity for men, men are "fat" , "lazy", "slobs, women are "beautiful", "curvy", "voluptuous", "independent".

My impression is that women perpetuate the beauty standards other women follow, weather it's because they like how it looks or because they're making money as a result of it. The message is usually "doing it for myself" and that's great.

I'm not convinced this has anything to do with pornhub or toxic masculinity.