I get you on the dating aspect. I never really have been out on a date, have tried but cards never lined up. Tried making a few online profiles but anything there just lead to anxiety and frustration from being ghosted time after time. I deleted both this week to try and forget that whole experience.
I’ve felt increasingly lonely in other stuff too. Had a great time last summer going off for 6 weeks to do something I’ve always wanted with a performing group, and I can really only relate to one other person on campus in my major who’s also had that experience (same competitive league but different group in it). We’re great friends and hang out but most of what I enjoy about the major we’re both in is that aspect of it, and I often feel alienated or get the sense other people in the major are annoyed if I try and engage in conversation because they think I’m just “that guy” who’s done the performing group.
I also definitely feel you on the “meaningless” part. I mean I would consider the people I know in my major “acquaintances” but not friends. They’re into the major too but all of their interest is mainly as it pertains to class, when mine is more real and something I also like doing outside of it, like the performing group and other stuff. I’ve tried to get together before but usually they claim to busy or some bullshit. There are more people at other colleges about an hour out who’ve shared same experiences like I had this summer who I’m honestly considering reaching out to to go and hang with. I’d rather have some genuine friends who can relate versus some fake friends who are just there because I am too.
Most nights if I’m not hanging with that one friend I’ll usually spend time cooped up in my apartment alone because honestly idk what else to do. Don’t turn 21 for another 4 months so drinks aren’t really an option. I mean it’s been this way for a while but right now with the whole friend situation combined with no dates or meeting anyone it’s just starting to become something I can’t NOT think about anymore.
It sounds like you have some good things lined up like you said though. To combat my feelings I’ve tried to envelope myself in my interests too, which has actually proven pretty helpful. Friend I originally met online in a users group on FB I actually met in Dallas last May for a convention we both wanted to attend and are basically best friends now and text every day, despite living halfway across the country. Hoping to travel some more like you are and go to CA for another convention next year with a panel of professionals in my field, hoping to network and maybe grab a few drinks with them for example.
Despite things maybe being sucky in your immediate surroundings (as are mine), I find it helpful to focus on fun and upcoming events I could plan for myself, and focus more on the activity versus the people. If you show you’re having a good time and it’s legitimate, the right people will want to associate and be around you! A lot of the time I feel that I’ve pretty quickly outgrew a lot of the people in my immediate surroundings, and there are better people out there who are just as interested in the stuff you are and would even treat you better.