This is a long post because I really feel for OP. From one ugly girl to another - TL;DR - you never know who has a crush on you. You never know who thinks you're beautiful. You really don't have to try if you don't want to... but if you want to, you can definitely get some cute guys. If I could do it, you can do it. But you will meet your soulmate someday - it took me 10 years but it's so worth it - you're still young and you have got to stay hopeful!

I think funniness is the most attractive quality in a person. It's attractive because it makes people want to be around you. I also think attractiveness is elusive and ever-changing. An attractive person can become plain if s/he's consistently boring or unkind; whereas an (at first sight) unattractive person can become attractive with a charming personality. I've been called ugly pretty much my whole life - my mother even told me once, when I was little, that a girl who looks like me needs to work hard because I certainly won't be getting anywhere in the world with my looks alone. Did that crush me, as a 13 year old? Yes. But I knew she was right and I accepted it. I've never known what it's like to exist as a physically beautiful person to begin with, so I never felt like I was missing out on much. I even had a doctor look at my face once and recommend that I get plastic surgery because according to him the shape of my face was so unattractive. Also one time there was a guy I liked who told me that I was a solid 5. You know, whatever. Ugly people are all over the place, and we get picked on by insensitive people who don't know what it's like to be ugly. I'm not that special and neither are you.

But here's the point- I don't think being ugly or beautiful has anything at all to do with whether you find true love/ relationships or not. I know it seems like it depends on it, but for some reason it just doesn't. And finding happiness definitely doesn't depend on your looks. I'm almost 10 years older than you and I can tell you this for a fact. Despite my looks I've gotten into plenty of long and short term relationships. This is 70% because I am friendly, compassionate, and kind. I love people. I genuinely want to be friends, and I don't care if people think I'm ugly. I never presume that any guy friend of mine would want to date me, so I don't act nervous or flirtatious around them. (Because we all know when ugly people flirt it's creepy - only when cute people flirt are people flattered). I read and write a lot, and try to be a smart person. The other 30% is because I started trying a little harder with my appearance. When I was around your age I finally stopped wearing my hideous pink crocs (which I wore all through college - which I could tell you was the most reliable form of birth control ever invented) and homeless person sweatpants. I went to the thrift store and found clothes that actually fit me. I'm not into fashion. But I've found that as long as it fits well, even a grandma dress can look good on a girl. I also started wearing some makeup around that time. Mainly - eyebrow pencil & mascara. Very simple but it really does something to a face when the brows and eyes have some shape. I got some tasteful tattoos too.

It was around that time I found that, actually, guys were interested in me. I don't know what I did that worked but something must have worked. I used to settle for ugly guys but then I started getting guys who were actually cute, and it was confusing but I wasn't complaining. I was even able to get married, although the marriage didn't last - it was still an unexpected gift.

A year ago, a man I've known and loved for the past 10 years confessed his love for me. I've always known that he was my soulmate - pretty much from the moment I met him. But I always thought it's never going to happen because I'm ugly and he's very attractive. I never even gave myself the option to peruse him in anyway. He came on to me all by himself! It was shocking because he told me that he had always found me beautiful. Wtf?? We got together and things have been so great. I really never thought I could have the one I've always wanted. If I had only known that he liked me all along, I wouldn't even have bothered with dating anyone else. I would have just waited for him to come around. Sorry for this being so long. I guess I just wanted to say that - you never know who has a crush on you. You never know who thinks you're beautiful. You really don't have to try if you don't want to... but if you want to, you can definitely get some cute guys. If I could do it, you can do it. But you will meet your soulmate someday - it took me 10 years but it's so worth it - you're still young and really, "Ugly" is just a meaningless word. Can anyone even describe "ugly," and have the description match what we look like? No. It's made up. It's subjective. It's cultural. It's empty. Best of luck to you.