I do think she has some anxiety issues. I have been dealing with anxiety most of my adult life and she is gracious about my anxious moments. I want to do the same for her.

When she talks about her anxieties though it seems she either doesn't fully realize their impact or she minimizes that impact. She's told me she used to have problems with hypochondria but that she is much better now after getting some help. However, I can tell it still bothers her just by things she says and some of her behaviors in regards to obsessive cleanliness, germs, and minute changes she perceives in her body.

I think the worry about pregnancy stems from those health anxieties as well. She is afraid that certain kinds of very effective birth control will make her ill or somehow be detrimental to her health. She is reluctantly on the pill, and I wear a condom and pull out and that barely satisfies her worries. I am fine with all that (I am not ready for kids either) it is just difficult to experience intimacy when I know all she is thinking about is how they birth control could fail and how problematic it would be if she became pregnant. I end up feeling like I am hurting her just so I can 'get off'. My heart broke for her recently when she told me she'd been taking pregnancy tests for a couple months following an incident where the condom came off (even though we realized it before things climaxed).

I struggle to push her on these issues because I know at a very deep level how difficult anxiety can be especially when you haven't yet realized how it is affecting your life and those you love. I don't want to add to her stresses. I plan on talking to my own therapist about ways I can help her.