Maybe I can give a different perspective:

I had an South East Asian wedding that lasted 3 days because our parents wanted it. The exhaustion is real, especially for a bride. Keep in mind that for an Asian bride,we have to wake up super early to put on makeup and get dressed.

We did have sex on our wedding night but it ended up being this disconnected quickie. In fact, both of us actually fell asleep the moment we arrive to our room. We woke up 3 hours later starving, had a snack and then have sex. We were horny(i have a higher sex drive than him) but we were so tired. Plus, we had to wakeup early the next day for the next ceremony. No, we were not Virgin which I guess helped with the expectations but if we were.... I would imagine that it would still feel rushed.

I think our REAL "first night" experience only happened 4 days later on our honeymoon. Where we were more relaxed, had more time for foreplay (cuddling, touching etc) and it felt it was just "us". It was amazing and way more memorable. I have friends who were Virgins on their wedding night wishing they had waited until the whole wedding weekend was over because it's totally different experience.

My advice is enjoy the party as it is and have your own "wedding" when things are done. You guys have the rest of your lives together. She's already marrying you, that's acceptance too! Maybe on the first night, you guys can cuddle and kiss. Just build that intimacy first.

If you're worried about HER perception about sex life after marriage, then open that dialogue with her now but don't focus on just the wedding night. Sex is an ongoing process. It's not like porn where you get everything right the first time, trust me on this. You'll always have to communicate about sex and expectations.