Me [30 F] with my SO [31 M] of 7 years. SO venomous to my family, who no longer wants any contact

Day 1 went great. We did the hardest part of the reno and now it was time to make things pretty. On Day 2, my SO and my dad had a MINOR disagreement about how something should be done. This was at about 8:30AM. Then all of a sudden it turned into my SO making round-about snarky (for lack of a better term) comments about how 'he hates it when people cut corners, it's something dumb contractors do and their work is shitty and they are assholes for doing that to people's homes'. Now this exchange was A LOT worse than what I am describing. In the beginning when the snarkiness started, I was quietly telling my SO that he was being inappropriate and to stop. Well he didn't stop and kept on going, getting more and more vile, spiraling out of control. At this point I was in tears and yelling at my SO to stop. My dad, who was being extremely patient and trying to ignore what was happening, had finally had enough and called my SO out asking "You mean me? You are calling my work shitty and calling me an asshole?" To which my fiance replied "Yes". At that moment, my dad dropped everything, turned to me and said "I'm done". My SO marched away into the garage and that was that.

Did you agree with your SO on the way he wanted your house done, or did you side with your father? Did your father attempt to do things according to how the home owner wanted it or how he thought it should be done?

Sometimes, when direct communication doesn't work ("I want this not this"), and that's completely ignored and disrespected, people can lapse into passive-aggressive behavior.

Did you support him in his request to have things done a certain way?

Did you support him when he was upset with your father for not respecting those wishes?

Did you work as a team to find a solution and validating his feelings, or did you simply tell him he was wrong and being unfair to people you cared about?

There's usually two sides to every story. People don't exist one-dimensionally as benevolent parents or asshole husbands. Could you have done more to be a unit with your SO, or did you give him your full support and he still mistreated you and others?

/r/relationships Thread