1) Well, regardless who wins, they're all losers. No, to be fair, I definitely think someone with McDonald's experience would have a better chance at fighting people off. Better stress coping skills while working on your feet. Says nothing about individuality, though.
2) Ear wax.
3) I met a funny looking chap in Ottawa once. It was right outside the shop where me and Mary used to get art supplies. Now, it's the middle of winter, right? It's cold and it's in the early parts of the evening, so it's pretty freaking dark. The dude stands there in nothing but a white t-shirt, jeans and sunglasses that are way too big for his face. I didn't have my Samsung on me and I was cutting close to being late for a business conference. Terrible situation to be in, as I had to pitch them a new marketing platform. But yeah, so the guy stands outside the shop and takes out what I thought were a pen, but now realize must have been an e-cigarette, and puts it in his mouth. Not much else. He's just minding his own business, but I need to make a call. Now, the shop's closed, because I get the stuff after hours, so I know the owner is about to leave, so this guy was my best bet on getting that phone call. So I walk up to him, trying to disguise my first impression of him and ask if I could use his phone. And he says "who are you calling". And I say, "my boss" and he gives me his phone and I make the call: busy line. Take a quick glance at the clock and realize that I might not make it; a real bad business situation. I wanted to send him a text, but you know, you don't want to take too much advantage of the kindness of strangers. Not even in Canada. I say thanks and run like a crazy person to the bus hub. I make it just barely. I get to the office, walk up and there, who the fuck am I greeted by but the guy in the white t-shirt and the fucking sunglasses. It turns out that he's one of the higher-ups at the company. Now, this was a very brief reunion, because I still had to get to meeting, but there's just something about this man that always fascinates me. His appearance, how he managed to beat me to the office and how he managed a very successful business. Weird story, I guess. First one that came to mind.
4) To make people happy. The smiles and love from those around me.
5) No, neither. I Googled them. Very interesting creatures.