This is going to be long...
I was flying back from New Orleans to Philadelphia. At the gate in NO the agent made an announcement that our flight was running late, but we shouldn't be delayed for takeoff because they would rush people off and clean as fast as they could. I'm just a little worried at this point because I have a connecting flight in Dallas/Fort Worth and I had maybe a 90 minute layover to make it. Sure enough, the plane in NO was a little late, they rushed people off, and soon enough they rushed us on. I took my window seat, buckled up, and stared out the window as I'm watching the workers on the ground load our luggage. The flight attendant made an announcement that as soon as the luggage was loaded, we'd be off the ground.
I sat and watched as two guys were in charge of loading everyone's luggage as fast as they could. They both literally tossed suitcases, instrument cases, and boxes as far as they could up a conveyor belt. You could hear some of the passengers around me getting pissed. Then, I saw the two guys on the ground start arguing over something. I have no idea what was being said, but it escalated quickly into a fist fight. The fight itself lasted maybe 30 seconds. There wasn't a clear winner, and it was more or less just grabbing shirts and throwing wild punches at each other, but one of the guys jumped into the little luggage truck and drove off...with half of the luggage still in the back. Our "little delay" ended up taking another hour.
Eventually, someone else drove the truck back, loaded the plane, and we were in the air. After a short flight, we made it near DFW when the pilot gets on the speaker to say that we're in a holding pattern for some reason (fog if I recall). We circled DFW for about 90 minutes before we hear from the pilot again. Apparently back in NO they didn't refuel the plane because they were in such a hurry to get off the ground. We were now running low on fuel so the pilot made the call to double back to another somewhat nearby airport to refuel. We land. We sit. Eventually we take off again.
We eventually make it to DFW, but by this time I've missed my connecting flight. There are no more flights out to Philly until the next morning and it's very late at this point. The airline rep hands me a voucher for a room at an Econo Lodge and tells me to call the number to get a shuttle. I should say at this point in the story that I was in NO for a bachelor party and drunkenly misplaced my cell phone. The agent points me in the direction of a courtesy phone that will call out to the hotel for a shuttle. So, I go down to get my luggage first. You've probably guessed it, but somehow my luggage didn't make it on the plane. I'm guessing it fell out of the truck back in NO when the guy got all fast and the furious with the luggage truck. I go complain to the gate agent. I'm told it will likely be here in the morning, fill out a form, then when there's nothing more I can do, I go call for a hotel room.
I call EconoLodge: "Hi, this is baleted and I have a voucher from Airline for a room. Can you send a shuttle?" "Sure. We'll have a shuttle out in 10 minutes."
30 minutes later I'm still standing at the curb. I go back to the courtesy phone. "Hi, this is baleted again. I called 30 minutes ago for a shuttle." "Oh, well we realized that we're booked up so we didn't send a shuttle." "..."
I go back to the gate agent who is apparently trying to shut down and go home. I explain the situation and get a rather rude response. "That voucher means you have a room. Go back and call again and explain that to them."
Tired, hungry, and frustrated, I figured I would give it another try. I pick up the phone and tell them what the agent told me. I'm a little more demanding at this point and once again I'm told that a shuttle will be there in 10 minutes.
I got back outside to wait and I watch as people from my flight get picked up by shuttles for other hotels. Apparently the airline gave out vouchers for several different hotels and I'm the only one that got stuck with the Econo Lodge.
20 minutes later...still no shuttle. I go back in and use the courtesy phone again. No answer. I try again...and again. Finally, after 3 or 4 times, someone picks up. I explain that I've been waiting for nearly 30 minutes for a shuttle.
"Oh, we're booked."
I think I might have slammed the phone down so hard that I broke it a little.
I run back up to the gate agent. But, at this point of the night the airport is noticeably empty. The agent desk is empty and I can't find anyone around. I'm so tired and hungry at this point that I'm ready to breakdown and cry in the middle of an empty airport. A few minutes later I see a janitor and ask if he has a cell phone I can use. I explain my situation and he tells me that there's some 24 hour hotline that the airline runs that I should try. Worth a shot.
He points me to another courtesy phone run by the airline. I explain my situation to the person on the other end who then puts me on hold and forwards the call to someone else. A man picks up and it sounds like he's at some sort of party. I explain my situation and he tells me he'll be at the airport in 20 minutes. It must be close to midnight at this point.
Sure enough, a guy in a suit shows up twenty minutes later and takes me to an airline desk. He clickity clacks on the computer for a bit, then books me on the earliest direct flight out the next day. He called a hotel that was much nicer than the Econo Lodge and booked a room and he even paid for a cab to get me there. He was a very nice guy and apparently had left an Eagles v. Cowboys football party to come help me. In fact, he jokingly pointed out that I must have had a bad experience because I was wearing my Eagles hat in Cowboys territory.
TL;DR - Luggage handler takes off with our luggage after a fist fight, almost run out of fuel, fuck Econo Lodge.