This is embarrassing. I'm not going to discuss everything that happened - too long. We started off dating for 2+ years with only a handful of arguments. Everything seemed good. Looking back, she hid her anger management and control issues very well. A few months after getting married, I get a cup of coke thrown in my face. The next week, another. Funny thing is, she just got mad and blamed me for making her mad, over nothing. I never got mad, sarcastic, etc.. She apologizes (first of hundreds of apologies).
Tip 1: If they blame you for making them mad, run.
A month later, she gets so angry that she slaps my Rx glasses off my face and crushes them. Then she blames me for crushing them and making her angry.
Tip 2: If they destroy your stuff and blame you, run.
If you've lived through this, you know where this is going. One night, she gets so angry at me she attacks me in bed while I'm trying to go to sleep (kicking and punching me). She then dumps a huge bowl of cold water on me in bed. I hold her down and tell her to stop. She's screaming at this point and the cops come. They arrested her (she went to jail naked in a bathrobe) because she got in a cop's face screaming at him and I couldn't calm her down. They were so pissed at her, they wouldn't let her put clothes on. Later, she says she has hormonal, with possible medical issues.
Tip 3: Once the cops are called, the relationship is OVER. Get the fuck out!! This is the GOLDEN RULE of fucked-up relationships.
At this point, dumbass me believes her "medical issue" bullshit and convinces the victims advocate office to drop all the charges. She did have to complete an anger management class...online. I even get her home, violating the mandatory TPO, and try to comfort her - telling her it will be alright. And we'll fix this together.
Things don't get better. One night she attacks me (no "fresh" marks on me) being very careful not to make marks, and calls the cops. I have video. She lies to the cops. They don't know what to do. So they ask me to come in the room (and had asked her to say yes or no - whether to arrest me). Her dog comes up to me and I pet it and say something nice to it. She said "yes" and I get arrested. She got angry at me because I pet her dog and said something nice to it. She gets a TPO and files for divorce (typically poor fake-battered woman shit). After getting the charges dropped, I agree to the divorce terms and sign the paperwork. She refuses to sign the divorce papers and this shit goes on for a fucking year. She said she just wanted to teach me a lesson/wake me up. For the next year, she BEGS me to come back.
TIP 4: Domestic violence often begins with small/subtle emotional abuse incidents. You most likely will not realize you're in a DV relationship until much later in the relationship. The people who are good at DV slowly ramp up their controlling and abusive nature.
TIP 5: Just because someone gets angry, it does not mean they are right.
Update: 5 years later, I'm still dealing with PTSD from that one fucked up relationship. I should have followed Tip 3 instead of trying to be a good husband and stand by her.