Hey, man. I apologize if this comes across as intrusive or obnoxious. Feel free to tell me to fuck off. Reading your apology to the nurse below just hit me hard.

My dad was a paraplegic for most of my childhood and teenage years. He died due to infection after thirteen years in a wheelchair. Many surgeries and hospital stays and medications.

I was just becoming and adult, so I never truly got to hear his thoughts on his life and happiness. He too lost a lot of his friends and was isolated. He needed catheters and sponge baths and dealt with all the awful things disabled people face on a daily basis.

But I loved him deeply and his presence in my life meant the world to me. He brought me joy, and kindness, and helped me laugh and grow. His pain was my own, and that was hard, but it also bonded us on a level beyond words. I never saw him as anything less than a great man who belonged in the world even in his most vulnerable moments. I never felt that he was a burden.

I will never say you should suffer for the sake of others—your life belongs to you alone. No matter who loves you or who you love. Choosing to end things doesn’t negate any love. I have never lived life in your body.

But I hope you only feel sad for yourself and not for others. I hope you’re not sorry for existing. I don’t know you, I guess you could be a total dick, but I’d wager that the people who’ve stuck by you see you as a full person who brings something important to their lives.

Whatever you decide—sticking around or not—your life means something and it’s important.

But again, if that sounds like some pep talk bullshit from an able-bodied asshole, I apologize.