I'm sorry. I know this will get buried deep in reddit comments but...

I had a pretty similar experience. Was married to this lady for about 4 years. Got home from my third deployment in Iraq to find that most of my money was drained from my account. Didn't say much about it because prior to me leaving we bought a house. Thought that money was spent on stuff around the house and bills. So I let it go. My ex was acting kind of suspicious. The sex wasn't good and she was pretty distant. I wasn't stupid so I dug into it a little and couldn't find anything. She was smart about it. But hiding the phone quickly and sneaking phone calls became a common thing. She didn't have any friends out there really so I couldn't go to anyone. We lived in the mountains a little ways. Had to go down a small dirt road to hit the house. You'll pass by three different properties on the way. I decided to go talk to my neighbor one night. He was a cool old navy vet, we always shared a cigar and talked motorcycles. I casually asked him if he's seen any cars drive by that wasn't my exes Jeep. He told me about a red Tacoma that was always coming through. It all came clearly into view. A little back peddle. I found out a few years prior that an old friend of mine from high school was in the army and stationed at the same base. We hung out a few times to "catch" up. My ex and I would go out for drinks with him and his wife all of the time. He drove a red Tacoma.
I ended up leaving for about a week when it was time to take leave. Went on a motorcycle trip with a buddy. Before leaving a put a few small cameras up on the house. Was able to watch and record from my phone. Of course the guy showed up a few times while I was gone. I was pretty pissed off but towards the end of the trip I just turned off my phone and put my focus on the open road. Finally got back to town. Pulled into my driveway and shut off my bike. Walked into an empty house. There was duffle bags full of clothes, a box of important belongings, and a letting from the bank saying that they were foreclosing on the house. And divorce papers. There was nothing left. My dog was gone, music instruments missing, my laptops gone, everything gone. She didn't pay the house payments and just pocketed the money. Took money out of our account. She basically ran away. Hit me pretty fucking hard. I was a mess. Right when I was in middle of the ETS process. It was pretty fucking rough at the time. Wasn't ever able to find her. Disappeared. I was afraid that id do something incredibly stupid. So I tried to let it go and to just move on. That first year I was a mess. Bourbon became my new love. Now years later there's an update. Every once in a while id try to look her up. Can't find anything. She doesn't do the whole social media thing. Until last year. Her name came up on a Facebook post about getting her hair done at a salon for her wedding. There was a phone number which matched her old area code. I called it, she answered so I hung up. Didn't really have the balls to say anything after all these years. I decided to look up the lady who made the post. Searched my exes first name with that ladies last name and a wedding registry came up. Bingo, found her. I went the smart route and got a lawyer. I ended up taking her to court right after she got re-married. A month after to be exact. She owed me about 40k. Denied it all. The case ended up being like a movie scene. My lawyer brought out the recorded evidence of the man coming over to sleep with her and when she moved everything out of the house and sold it all. The proof put the frosting on the cake. I won the case of course. The win was fucking magnificent. Years of pain was quickly lifted off my shoulders. I felt a little bad about dragging her new husband into it...but at the end of the day I may have saved him. I don't really care about the money, more just the satisfaction of winning. Found out last month from a mutual friend that the guy left her. She's now back to sleeping on her moms couch and working some shit retail job in the middle of nowhere. Life's glorious.