When I was 14 ish a guy had me and my friend against a wall and was about to kill us with a hatchet. I think he was on something because he swung twice and either I dodged or he missed both times, it’s a bit vague now.

Anyway he slipped when he missed and slid down the bank we were on, so me and my friend jumped over the wall onto a road and ran away laughing.

About a year after that I was with the same friend, we had both told our parents we were at the others house but we were actually chilling out in a bomb shelter in the back yard of an empty house.

A dude comes in who had been using it as his stash house and orders us outside. My friend says we didn’t take anything so he says he’s going in to check and if we are lying he’s gonna stab us when he gets back. My friend jumps the wall and runs (again) so I followed him, and when we stopped he told me he did find a load of weed in there earlier and took it somewhere else then.

A few months after that some travellers were chasing us on quads to kill us for spending a couple of nights camping out with some girls from their site. We - you guessed it - jumped over a wall and escaped.

I dunno what to tell you guys.. if you’re ever about to be murdered just jump a wall. It always used to work for me.