I feel like they’re only friends as she likes the male attention and maybe he feels like he still has a chance at getting with her?

So you know what's up.

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My only problem is I’m afraid she’ll tell our friends that I have trust issues

Why does it matter if she passes it off as trust issues? When do you tell them your side of the story they will be like da fuq is wrong with her?

I think you are afraid to confront the reality of this dynamic. Everything they are doing is hurtful to you, messaging her when he's with you but not messaging you when he's with her. That's painful. Knowing that your bf is entertaining himself by talking about your private sexual conversations with someone else is painful. Knowing that your friend is initiating these conversations is hurtful and really fucking insensitive on her part. She knows this is really uncomfortable for you and she is doing it anyway. What they are doing is not normal and it is not ok.

Good news, you are young and there are plenty of fish in the sea.

I think you need to find a man outside of your friend group.