You said the money isn't his/hers--it's "ours." That's the right attitude to have. But your closing paragraph does NOT indicate that attitude. Even if you're trying to think of it as shared money, clearly part of you still sees it as your money. Try really hard to focus on it as shared money.

Yeah I'm definitely internally conflicted with this. I know the right attitude that I should have, just need to work towards ALWAYS having that.

How often did she discuss London before y'all got married? I ask this because I made a lot of sacrifices in order to marry my husband, like moving to a state with poor job prospects when I wanted to move back to France. (I had just returned to the States after working in France for two years when I met my husband). If she made it pretty clear before y'all got married that she wanted to visit London a lot, then I'm on her side here, especially if this trip is plausible with points. Long story short, I chose my husband over France, but that was with the promise that I could travel there often.

She was definitely interested, but it was never this heavy. But TBH maybe I'm just misremembering how much she wanted it. I'll need to think about it a bit more, because you're right if she was like this before we got married then I knew what I was signing up for.

It sounds like you two travel quite often. You just went to Rome, and you're going to Cancun. Since you two honeymooned in London, presumably less than a year ago, maybe this London trip could be postponed to 2016? London is obviously important to her, but vacationing together is obviously important to you. Stress that you think Cancun is a big enough trip for this year, but you'd be willing to go to London as your big trip next year.

Yeah I think I just need to realize that she really wants to go back even though I really don't want to. It means a lot to her and that means a lot to me.

Thanks for your post, really did help a lot.