My [40f] mother [75F] has become openly and unapologetically anti-immigrant and racist. I’m her non-white immigrant daughter adopted as a baby. How do I continue to have a relationship with her?

First off, I’m so sorry. My blood was boiling as I read that; I can’t imagine how you feel living it every day.

My first thought is to email or text your mom (not call) and tell her that for your own mental health you need to take a break from talking to her for a while. You will still fulfill xyz obligations you’ve committed to (if that’s what you want to do), but you need to take a communication break. That you need her to respect you and your needs; if she can’t, the consequences of that choice are abc.

If you don’t want to, you don’t have to give reasons—if she’s even remotely been listening to anything you’ve said she’ll know exactly why. Then block her. You won’t see the pile up of calls and texts. It’s not a perfect solution, but it’s a way to take a step back without ghosting her and without jumping into a discussion that has proven useless.

/r/relationship_advice Thread