*maybe I worded it wrong but I’m not screaming an crying for him to marry me. I’m locking myself in the bathroom and embarrassing as it is scream crying at the pain of feeling unloved. We split for almost a year at one point and I dated another guy for a while and ended up closing things out with him and then going back to my current bf. I’ve had two other pretty serious relationships before him. 17-18 I dated a guy and 14-16 I was in a terribly abusive relationship so I’ve learned a lot about myself in a romantic sense. I didn’t mention it in the post because it’s besides the point but I have left him once, he was addicted to a variety of substances and it was an unstable situation but we remained friends until he was sober. Idk if this changes anything but I wanted to add context.