This sorta happened to my daughter, they were 13 at the time, same age. He didn't touch her but he violated her. It effected her just as much as if he had touched her, trauma is trauma its all equal there isn't more points for "how bad he was to her". She was effected enough to have to get EMDR therapy and talk therapy. We didn't tell grandma about it because she didn't want anyone to know, or stir up the family, she didnt even tell me tol last summer and it happened 2 years ago. After atarting therapy and talking to a sheriff that wouldnt do anything about it, she did tell my 1/2 sister about it, so g'ma had heard about some if it through the grapevine. Well in the past grandma takes the grankids on trips, the boy has been invited many times with the other grandkids and they have paired up to go to Disneyland together, it went well but that was before the incident. Well recently, she invited us to go to Hawaii, she tried pushing the boy to be able to go to pair up with my daughter, I said I don't think that was a good fit. Then she says," I heard he did such and such to her". Well did she do this or that to prevent it? Im like WHAT PART OF THIS IS HER FAULT? Well, that idea of bringing him was a bust but we compermized and she allowed my son to go since he has never got to go on a trip with her at age 23, when all the others have gone on many trips. The hard part is she is my neighbor AND landord, not to mention my best friend, sister and step mother. So it really sucks to be in this delema. g'ma just likes having to be able to do everything with everyone, it didn't happen to her so I guess we all just have to do everything apart. My daughter can stand being able to be in the same room as him even though I tell her she doesn't have to, she misses out on all the fun things they do. I told her its not worth being around toxic, she says she doesn't want to miss out. Over halloween pumkin patch event she got to bring her boyfriend and that went well having him there sonce none of the grandkids really talk to her. Mainly because of the boy always talking shit about her. Now all of us are aware that if they are around each other they are not allowed to be alone, whatsoever. I don't care how old they get. Sounds like your sitiation is more complex, but I feel even though they would never admit it, gma will always take her daughters son side before my daughter because that's her natural grandchild. She thinks because they all grew up together being a rough crowd she should have defended herself because boys are stupid and rude . It's just agrivaating.