I'm sure I'm going to be downvoted for this...but it doesn't sound like your fiancee is getting much of a say in her own wedding at all, anymore. It sounds like YOU'VE made the decisions. Not you AND your fiancee.

Have you truly sat down and asked her what her idea of a perfect wedding would be? What the day she'd been dreaming of in her head, probably since before you got together? (Most of us do have some idea.) The reasons behind it?

I am not scared of my fiance's family, but I have always LOATHED being the center of attention, because I feel like I have to put on a performance to be socially acceptable. My ideal wedding would be elopement for two weeks to HI, which means JUST THE TWO OF YOU. When my older sister got married, my mom literally cornered me sobbing and made me swear on her grave that she could be at my wedding. So my idea of the perfect wedding has always been a courthouse wedding with the two sets of parents and siblings, and then we fly off to HI or someplace else exotic. No party. No performance. No endless picture taking (which I hate-I've hated every picture I've ever been in, pretty much). Just the two of us celebrating us.

Well...that's not exactly what my fiance has in mind. He wants a big wedding with all our family and friends. We're not getting married immediately, but somehow, the two of us have to mesh these two very, very different ideas into one.

I can really understand where your fiancee is coming from when she says she "has to be someone she is not" though. It's freaking EXHAUSTING to put on a performance for other people if it doesn't come naturally. An entire day of that...well, it's kind of a shy person's worst nightmare.

Good luck to you both. If you have any questions, you or your fiancee can PM me.