My home is constantly a warzone, help...

wife screaming at them

Found your problem. You probably already realize this, but your kids are learning from the behavior that their parents model for them. Your wife is modeling screaming for them as a way to resolve problems. Of course the kids are going to act out if they're getting screamed at by their mother all the time.

Two brothers that close together in age are going to have quite a rivalry going on naturally. That can turn into an advantage, or disadvantage, depending on how the parents raise them. Obviously, your kids are in desperate need of having their parents show them successful ways to resolve problems, but they're not getting that. How can they when their own parents can't resolve problems?

I think you should video her when she screams at them. Every time. Record her as you're removing the children from her presence. You'll need this for your own protection for when her rage eventually turns toward you.

Best case here, she gets herself some help for her anger issues, and some parenting classes. Worst case, you end up in jail because she flips completely and goes into physical violence and attacks you and you defend yourself and end up being charged as the abuser for defending yourself.

/r/Parenting Thread