“I used to think what you think. Fortunately it's possible to grow spiritually...”

I don't agree or disagree with you or u/Final_Goat4827 regarding the topic you two are discussing, but those phrases of yours sound snarky and condescending, as if you claimed to know the absolute truth and that you are spiritually more advanced than her.

Hope you understand that they've probably been going through something really tough, and are seriously questioning the meaning of their own suffering.

I don't proclaim to know who is right or what is the absolute truth, but the idea of pre planning our own suffering is a sensitive topic to those who are in pain under a situation that they “can't control.”

I've seen some people comparing suffering to a game or taking oneself too seriously, but I don't think I could think of other people’s pain that way, especially when I think of kids born with horrible diseases or who were abused by their parents, since they had absolutely no control or even had a choice of “taking themselves” too seriously.

Life is not that simple.

Imagine you are in their situation and can't agree with that idea, but others imply that you are just not there yet spiritually...You may deny saying that, but that's practically what you implied in those phrases.

And just like anything else, nobody can claim to know the absolute truth, or be spiritually more mature or advanced than others when they disagree with each other.

My personal opinion is that anyone who is spiritually advanced or more mature is humble and empathetic enough to try hard to understand others, instead of projecting their olderself onto them, and never claim to have surpassed their spiritual levels.

You will probably hate what I've just written here, but my intention is not to put you down. If it did, I apologize.