Lol. I do like that username. Okay, so maybe this will explain it a little better. No, violence is never okay. But when you have a mental health condition where violence is a symptom, so long as you are working on your mental health condition, you can't beat yourself up for a violent outburst beyond your control. I know there seems like there is a choice involved in the matter, but there terrifyingly isn't. I have a serious problem with beating myself up for my violent outbursts. I used to be suicidal because of my lack of control over it and desperately wanting control over my life that I don't have and I may never obtain. Life with severe PTSD is hell. It breaks my heart and tears my soul apart when those violent outbursts happen. It also scares me. The shame of it all is unbearable. Fortunately, with over a decade of therapy, the outbursts have become few and far between and less intense but they still happen. Nobody should have been arrested but if they really had to be dicks and take somebody on a noise disturbance call, it should have been me. He doesn't deserve this at all.