Not OP, but I slightly disagree on the point that it doesn't matter what people think we are. Only a little. Overall, you have a point, but there is an erasure of community for a queer person who is universally seen as straight.

I'm a bi woman engaged to a man, and like 99% of the time my life reflects what you're saying. I'm monogamous and madly in love, I'm cool here. No need for anything else. But every once in a blue moon there's a painful disconnect. When something great happens in the LGBT community, I want to celebrate with them. When something tragic happens, I want to mourn with them. I consider them my community, and I identify with them. But I'm super duper feminine presenting and have a very masculine presenting straight dude on my arm. I may not be outright shunned, but I'm considered a straight ally at best. I'm an outsider for reasons that don't have anything to do with my experiences or actual sexuality.

Idk. It's just frustrating. Sorry for the long, rambling comment.