Brief backstory - I was 20 at the time, he was the same age. I knew the guy all through high school but wasn't close with him.

A few days before this event we hung out at a house party and realised we got along well and he was hot so we ended up exchanging numbers. Fast forward and he rocks up to my place with wine. This guy, my roommates and I end up having a fairly nice night, chatting/smoking. I may have been a bit too drunk and high so I was pretty excited to sleep with him, annnyway we go to bed and he is on top of me, doing the usual kiss, touch build up, nothing particularly exciting, then just stops after about a minute and immediately sits up saying 'now for the secret ingredient'.. and grabs a condom, I dried up on ze fuckin' spot... I laugh it off hoping he was just being purposefully weird. He then proceeds to clumsily thrust into me for about ten minutes and when I finally lose all hope of change, I tell him to fuck me from behind. Although he is still not really achieving much the different position has given me the advantage of stimulating myself so now I can control my own pleasure and get to a point where I see climax in sight..he then pulled out, came on my back and it twas over..

Then it got worse, but mainly for him.. It was a bit later in the night and he wanted to fuck again but I wasn't really interested so I started giving him a blowjob, I'm around 5 minutes in and I take his penis out of my mouth to use my hands and kiss/tease him and then the poor boy spasms hard and cums all over his own stomach. I had enough time to hand him a towel and leave the room before i couldn't control my laughter.

tl;dr - poor buddy really didn't know how to fuck, cringes ensue.