Honestly it probably isn't that bad but the events that caused me to grow up was probably in 6th grade when I switched back to my old Catholic school to be with my best friend. I was verbally and mentally bullied by my old friends and my best friend once they deemed me as a weird kid. When I was made fun of for the stuff I liked and the clothes I wore. (For example I really liked to wear this big knitted wool poncho because the classroom was always cold.)

I never thought twice about what people thought about me before this, I did stuff that made me happy and wore stuff I felt like. But during and after this I started to think if what I was wearing would be made fun of, if the other kids would like it enough to leave me alone or just find something else to pick apart about me? I spent my recesses alone wandering the playground or sitting in a secluded place. Sometimes the girls that would bully me would come up to me and ask why I was sitting alone, as if they didn't know what they were even doing to me. By the end of the day, while I walked across the field to my moms car, was when I would let all of my emotions out and cry and I feel very sorry for my mother. The school was rather expensive and my family didn't have very much money in the first place, the school wouldn't give any money back and I was forced to stay at the school instead of being able to switch. At the end of the school year my "best friend" whom I still tried to be friends, her parting words she said to me were "You win." as if it was some kind of contest I had no idea I was playing. All I wanted was to be her friend

Over the past year I've realized I have grown up with and have really bad social anxiety and I would do anything to get out of going to school until I graduated. It has also caused me to be a very big push over in school I often was stuck doing projects for people just to please them. Even today it's always in the back of my head, wondering if what I look and dress like will please people around me, even though I know it doesn't matter at all.

Anyways sorry for the long story